What Dreams May Come and the Past

imageA very long time ago around 1974 I was four years old and had only been in America for about a year or so, we came over from England my mom and I with my dad. My dad is american and we lived on base since he was in the Air Force as a tech with movie cameras in helicopters and such. Anyway….  All this media flying around about the confederate flag and people thinking about the past racism and such has me thinking about my past and one of my earliest memories.

My grandpa came to visit us one day. My mom had me run next door to our neighbors condo to play with my best friend Angela when he arrived. My best friends family was african american and Angela and I only saw eachother as best girlfriends innocent and kind, caring imagination and play like two girls should.

Dear God, my grandpa was Scottish decent in Kentucky with a tobacco farm and a couple hundred acres. As Angela and I played next door I heard my grandpas’ booming voice….. Yelling about ….”Them N*GG*RS next door!!!!!!!!!!!!” And he went on and on and on in his racist slang hatred. I remember being very frightened and Angela too as we looked at eachother and her mother tried to occupy us through that. I remember the wall being very thin. My grandpa scared me forever after that. I felt sick around him and forever more that N word still makes me ill. Racism has always made me ill like physically makes my tummy hurt. My mamaw Mabel always spoke about Jesus and love, she was so caring and loving and I always wondered how she could love grandpa. I was in awe of her like a marvel and i would watch her cook with big eyes learning everything she did. Meanwhile grandpa would be yelling in the barn or outside if something didn’t work right for him… Cussing up a storm and you better not get him started on his racism either.

So…. With memories like that I need SL to help me think on other things…. An escape. This picture I made is something that is COMING SOON. Tiki Rose Fiji Black fitmesh dress with flowers. PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR THESE and much more newness from PMC. Paris Waits for you! Please go to a previous post for the link. I am on my ipad at the moment. Sorry. I am down in KY visiting family this weekend and just had to write about my thoughts. Its just one of those times.

Remember you are beautiful and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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